As I sat and began to quiet myself, I struggled to stop my mind from reeling. My thoughts kept going to the tasks of my day, what I had done, how I had done things and pouring over all that I left to do in the little day I had left. Be still, I thought to myself. My mind would not yield so I began to pray:
"God you are to me the very breath I need. You are my redeemer, provider, rescuer, Father, lover of my soul, the Alpha and Omega, my healer, sustainer and my strength."
I just began to praise Him then, I asked for quiet and told him that I wanted to honor Him with my stillness. I prayed that any deceiving spirits would be bound and cast out so my focus could be solely on God. So, I sat down and offered God my silence and my stillness. (for any of you that know me... that is hard to imagine, I rarely ever close my mouth especially for an extended period of time). Every time my mind would begin to wander, I just uttered the name of God.
In my stillness I heard Him speak to me. It was as clear as a midnight sky. It wasn't audible but spoken to my very spirit. He said, Do NOT LOSE HOPE.
He reminded me that hope isn't just a feeling that we have that a time or situation will get better but the Hope of God's coming glory. It's so much bigger than a feeling it's the innate knowledge that something else is in control of the big picture.
I began to dwell on what I was hearing and I wondered, have you ever been hopeless?
I have, and it bread in me a: loneliness, shame, isolation, self-pity, hurt and the feeling of worthlessness. Without hope I had no faith that things could get better and without faith I had no strength to fight the fight and without fight I had lost the battle which sent me into a cycle of nothing good. So, God reminded me to not forget His hope. To me, where I have been... this is exactly what I needed to hear.
He is ALWAYS faithful to give us exactly what we need. Thank you Jesus for your unconditional, ever present, and unchangeable love.
