FYI... I have been concentrating on my insides for so long and just recently have I acquired the will to do some work on the outside too. So, that's where the gym comes into play.
Well who says you have to be at the altar to encounter God? I do not mean any disrespect but I have no doubt that when you ask (no matter where you are) that God takes it seriously and pours out.
I was on the elliptical machine working and giving all I could and repeating the few scriptures that I have actually retained about strength and endurance (by the way, it helped to have a former Green Bay player next to me cheering me on too - He was taller than me and three of me across). I had forgotten my IPOD with all of "MY MUSIC" so I had to settle for the junk they play... So instead I blocked all that out and went to God in prayer.
I didn't intend on getting into a long deep conversation because, for one. I had no breath and two, I went to prayer for distraction and strength. Let me explain that just a little, not just distraction but I know my relationship with God well enough that once I go there... All else passes away and it's just me and Him.
So He was there and we had an impromptu meeting (at least for me, He probably knew I was coming). I started out just thank Him for all of the healing and love He has poured out in my insides and that now I was updating the temple on the outside and only by Him could I accomplish such a work. Then I began reflecting on my time in the Karns HS office and praying for students that I saw but did not know. Then... The rain began to fall. God began to speak to me and ask me questions... What about THIS generation? Was I raising a child to blend in or stand out? Would my child be known as one of the "lost" generation? And on that note... Do they know that they are building a legacy as the Lost ones? Do they care? Do they know that they have the choice to leave their mark on the world or let the world leave it's mark on them? Do they know how valuable they are. Why are they so lost? Who will tell them? Who will lead them and how can we change the future our children are heading for?
Now with all of that poured out and me still trying to hold it all together, remember I am in a gym on a running machine with tons of people around that probably don't know that I am not crying out of workout pain but pain of the heart. I didn't have any way to write it down or record it so I called my husband's cell and left a message, then I called again and he answered so I dictated a little of it to Him. I just knew that this was too much responsibility for me to just HOPE I remember, so I did what I could at the time. I have been processing for the last day or two and know that God is doing a work and it's not just in me. He is laying this on us so... There it is. I am sorry I don't have the answers but somehow I know that God has the answers in us and we will have to seek Him and search our hearts to find the answers and lead this generation in the way God leads us. I think part of what He was saying was... Don't give up.
February 02, 2006
My first assignment...
OK, this is my first assignment from my online writing group... It's so scary but I thought I'd share it with you too. Feel free to let me know what you think (good or bad)... That way I can grow as a writer.
Oh, the assignment? 500 words of description.
She was nothing like I had thought she might be. She stood about medium height with just a little hunch in her spine from age but, somehow it was distinguishing and added to her beauty. She had the most comforting smile: genuine and warm, not over doing it, just enough to put your guard at ease.
I had finally spotted her, she was across the room, laughing with a friend. I could not hear what they were saying but it was obviously a conversation shared between good friends. Her laugh floated over the room, it was so feminine and sweet, her eyes danced as she leaned back ever so slightly as if she might fall over from laughing so hard. It was surly an overflowing of pure joy.
She had perfectly styled hair of white, short and neat but not matronly a bit hip for her generation. Her blue eyes held an eternal flame of hope and love that just poured comfort over you if you caught her glance.
She donned a beautifully tailored suit of blue, prim and proper with a white laced trimmed silk shirt underneath, black shoes and beautiful accessories that made it all come together. Elegant is just part of ho she is.
As I walked across the room to meet her, it seemed as if my mind raced about her for hours, in just those few steps. I was nervous, as if she could see right through me but, with on glance, my nerves were stilled. She spoke to me in the most gentle but deliberate voice, one of strength and confidence.
She was much more mature than I but, she had a peace that I did not know, yet I longed for. As I got to know her more and more, my first impressions faded and the beauty I had thought about her was magnified. she is someone that I dearly love and cherish, She is my friend, Maynelle.
Oh, how I almost immediately envied her. She had grace, gentleness, respect and a confidence that was humble but true. And... she has a way of making you the most important thing to her at that moment, you feel like you have been heard and validated every time you talk with her.
As I have been privileged enough to continue to get to know her, I have found that all of those wonderful and endearing qualities I had assumed about her at our first meeting were not only true but also authentic. She is someone I want to learn from and learn I am. Since that first day of meeting, we have committed to meeting every week to talk and pray together.
Oh, that’s another thing to hear her pray. She talks with God in such a humble and honoring way, you know she is vastly familiar with whom she speaks. She encourages with scripture so you know that it’s not just her that supports you and believes in you, she leads you to God for the ultimate form of encouragement.
She is burdened for the broken and hurting and she is a warrior on their behalf. If she says she will be praying for you,… watch out something big is bound to happen. She is goodness, grace, and unconditional love, merciful, compassionate and strong. She is someone worhy of our attention to her example.
Now, as she begins to feel the symptoms of her age she feels and knows that her heart is able and willing but her body is becoming weaker and unable to keep up with her heart. She is frustrated and struggles with where she fits in now. She doesn't see that she is still everything that she always has been, but now, it is her time to receive from those who love her. Will she be able to accept the blessing?
Oh, the assignment? 500 words of description.
She was nothing like I had thought she might be. She stood about medium height with just a little hunch in her spine from age but, somehow it was distinguishing and added to her beauty. She had the most comforting smile: genuine and warm, not over doing it, just enough to put your guard at ease.
I had finally spotted her, she was across the room, laughing with a friend. I could not hear what they were saying but it was obviously a conversation shared between good friends. Her laugh floated over the room, it was so feminine and sweet, her eyes danced as she leaned back ever so slightly as if she might fall over from laughing so hard. It was surly an overflowing of pure joy.
She had perfectly styled hair of white, short and neat but not matronly a bit hip for her generation. Her blue eyes held an eternal flame of hope and love that just poured comfort over you if you caught her glance.
She donned a beautifully tailored suit of blue, prim and proper with a white laced trimmed silk shirt underneath, black shoes and beautiful accessories that made it all come together. Elegant is just part of ho she is.
As I walked across the room to meet her, it seemed as if my mind raced about her for hours, in just those few steps. I was nervous, as if she could see right through me but, with on glance, my nerves were stilled. She spoke to me in the most gentle but deliberate voice, one of strength and confidence.
She was much more mature than I but, she had a peace that I did not know, yet I longed for. As I got to know her more and more, my first impressions faded and the beauty I had thought about her was magnified. she is someone that I dearly love and cherish, She is my friend, Maynelle.
Oh, how I almost immediately envied her. She had grace, gentleness, respect and a confidence that was humble but true. And... she has a way of making you the most important thing to her at that moment, you feel like you have been heard and validated every time you talk with her.
As I have been privileged enough to continue to get to know her, I have found that all of those wonderful and endearing qualities I had assumed about her at our first meeting were not only true but also authentic. She is someone I want to learn from and learn I am. Since that first day of meeting, we have committed to meeting every week to talk and pray together.
Oh, that’s another thing to hear her pray. She talks with God in such a humble and honoring way, you know she is vastly familiar with whom she speaks. She encourages with scripture so you know that it’s not just her that supports you and believes in you, she leads you to God for the ultimate form of encouragement.
She is burdened for the broken and hurting and she is a warrior on their behalf. If she says she will be praying for you,… watch out something big is bound to happen. She is goodness, grace, and unconditional love, merciful, compassionate and strong. She is someone worhy of our attention to her example.
Now, as she begins to feel the symptoms of her age she feels and knows that her heart is able and willing but her body is becoming weaker and unable to keep up with her heart. She is frustrated and struggles with where she fits in now. She doesn't see that she is still everything that she always has been, but now, it is her time to receive from those who love her. Will she be able to accept the blessing?
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