a different place to start

When we think we have lost the fight and we have admitted defeat... Mercy says no.

A broken man once said that, "satan asked God if he could sift me, God granted him permission and I failed Him". You know what, in that statement stands grace defined. When we've fought all the fight we can, Mercy says no; when we have failed Him, Mercy says no; when we don't deserve it, Mercy says no; even when we didn't know to ask, Mercy says no. He will never let our sin take control of our soul.

Can you grasp that? Just think about the magnitude of it all. I have been where I have and done things that deserved death but, Mercy said no. God stepped in on my behalf a long time ago when He loved me enough to let Jesus be a sacrifice in my place. I can't even get a grip on words enough to describe the miricle that is me and the miricle in you.

God doesn't pick and choose, He gives us grace because He loves us. We have to pick and choose Him constantly. With every single decision it is a battle of life and death. Sounds like overkill doesn't it? It's not my friend, our battle is black and white, life and death, and each decision we make either takes us closer to Jesus or farther away.

Will we take steps oppsite Jesus? Yes, but that is where Mercy says no, He will never let sin steal you heart away.
So if you feel like sin is who you are or you think you will never be okay... whatever binds your heart or forms that ball in your throat that is growing too large to swallow, whatever habit overtakes you... mercy says no. All you have to do is ask, listen, focus and react out of God's love for you.
Is this a recipe for instant sucess? No. It is just a different place to start.

it's a heart thing

I have many different struggles and I can place a name, blame or excuse on any one of them but the truth of the matter is, it's a heart thing.
Somewhere down the line our hearts heard something dreadfully wrong and it hurt us to the core. We took that hurtful word, situation, judgement, whatever; as truth and that lie was tatooed on our heart. Until that lie is uncovered, God allowed in to heal it and the lie replaced with the truth of God then, we will still have struggles in that area.
It sounds simple but to take something that has been sewn into the very fiber that you believe yourself to be and just change it... no, it's not that easy. You have to first admit that there is something very wrong, ask God to help you bring it into His light (identify it), allow Him to validate you (feel it) and let Him tatoo a new truth in it's place (heal).
Again, it sounds alot easier than it is. I am trying to do this in an area of my life and I find that pride, pain and rebellion are very much my enemy. I know that I have to be 100% responsibile for all of my actions and that... is a large pill to swallow (so to speak). I try to think that I might just want to wallow in the blame game because at least there, I am powerless (so to speak). It's a battle my friends. Not just for me but anyone who lives and breathes, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day it is an ongoing war - just remember, Jesus is ALWAYS an option!

Do Not Fret

Psalm 37
- Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong; 2 for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away. 3 Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. 4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. 5 Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: 6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. 7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret- it leads only to evil. 9 For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.

so, if someone sets out to hurt you, destroy you, or slander you.... "Do not fret". When the winds of the storm begin to blow what do we do? "Do not fret". When everything seems to come up against us and we can are stonewalled, what do we do? "Do not fret".
Whatever you challenge, God is very clear. Anything but commiting your way to the Lord is wrong and will "only lead to evil". Does this verse say be perfect and God will "make your righteousness shine like the dawn"? Nope, we know that God knows our innermost being so, if He knows what goes on inside that mind of ours then He must be perfectly aware of our shortcommings (to say the least). He knows who you are, who I am and tells us to wait when wrong and evil are brought up against us. He will take care of it. He can punish the deeds much better than we can and if we take on retallatation then what?... "it only leads to evil". It becomes a distraction and builds a wedge between us and God, as much as we are hurt and angered remember this... Hurting people hurt others. Try compassion over anger and prayer over wrath, these are the ways of the Lord.

a child of the King

In the story of Tamar's tragic life there are many lessons to learn from and incorporate into our own lives but today one stands alone....

As Tamar was shoved out the door of her brothers house, the raw emotions set in and in that moment her grief over took her and she was lost. She tore her robe that distinguished her title and worth and shed everything she knew (the lies set in). She went on to be virtually ignored by her father and never validated by anyone, she was basically banished from the life she once .

I just wonder? were there people outside to hear and see her despair? When she shed her robe, did someone see and have compassion for her? Did people have to step over her torn robe along their way? Did dust settle on the robe from the feet of many that passed by and never gave it a second thought? What about that...

Dear Father in heaven, Thank you that you will never be a passer-by. You will always come to our rescue and you will never do: nothing. You will always care for and protect your children and you will never abandon us ever, no matter what. Thank You.
I ask Father that you teach me, call me and guide me to never cast dust on a torn robe that lies in my path. May I always see past the events of my own life into others. Please use me in whatever way you choose, I am yours and I know who that makes me forever... I am and will always be a child of the King!

reconcilling more than a year

looking back over the past year and realizing that again, another year is slipping away. I am forced to deal and work out all of those financial issues that I have let go. Like making sure everything is in check and ready to close out, that it is all in order for future reference, tying up loose ends and reconciling the years profit and losses. I am not a financially minded person but this is what I imagine has to happen in preparation for the next year to make sure it is not all jumbled in with the coming new year.

Well, of course, I just ran with this. If we are so meticulous with our money, why can't we reconcile our year emotionally too? Why don't we deal with, work out, clean up and tie up all the loose ends so we don't just carry them over and over and over year after year? God has great plans for us, each of us individually, and if we are all tied up in the past how can we embrace the future? You have to let go of one thing to take hold of another, if not you split your time, focus and attention. Nothing is going to be as magnificent or as profitable if you don't give it you full attention. Quit splitting and start giving life your very best.

So, how about this year when the year begins to draw to a close... you reconcile more than just your bank book?

Peter walked on water too

Do you know the story? Exhausted and worn down Jesus sent the 12 diciples onto the lake for rest from the multitude. Jesus stayed and told the people to return home and then, after everyone had gone, he fled for solitude up to the moutains to pray alone. When he came down the boat was already out too far and the winds made it nearly impossible for them to return to pick Jesus up. So, Jesus set out on foot to walk across the water to get to the boat.... as you and I can imagine, surely there was complete silence and awe as they watched their friend, mentor and soon tyo be Savoir come closer and closer doing the unthinkable. More than that, they called to Jesus and Jesus invited them to get out of the boat and come to him. No one dared EXCEPT Peter. Petrer kept his eyes and focus on Jesus and he walked on the water. Only when he felt overwhelmed and took his eyes and focus off Jesus did he begin to sink. Even in his doubt, Jesus held out his hand and kept him afloat.

This story is just so amazing to me, not just in the miricle itself but the challenge: Jesus knew that they were able He didn't need proof but He challenged them to believe in what He already knew to be true.

You know what, I could tell you much more about what this story says to my heart but I want to ask you... what is God asking you to believe, what challenge is He asking you to meet?

taking a chance

I guess it all really comes down to the question... am I going to take a chance? Call it what you want but everything comes down to a choice, will I trust? Is God really there for me? Is this job going to be right? The possibilities are endless, the ultimate nitty-gritty is... am I going to take a chance. It is repetitive isn't it? Well, it is a huge question with need for great thought.

In thinking about this I see many times in the past that I have said no, I won't take that chance and come back later to find that the chance was gone and the time had passed. Let's break it down, how do we make a decision? I usually am faced with a situation and respond emotionally, then common sense sets in. I usually take the big ones to God and check with Him and sometimes I get an immediate response and other times... I get silence. I am not really good with silence, that's usually when I get in the most trouble is when I am trying to fill the silence. Anyway, from there I try to make the best INFORMED decision that I can and stick to it. I have learned recently that it helps to plan ahead. I make up my mind as to my goal and then every response from then on is based on if that decision will take me closer to or farther away from my set goal. I find my chances are fewer and I tend to take more of them because it cuts down so much of the unnecessary blah blah that tends to steal my focus (which I have to say is extremely easy).

So, tonight I was just thinking about what and how I tend to function - good, bad and different - (I was told today that I needed to get my ducks in a row and that I could do it even if my row didn't look like the others). Even though it was a light-hearted statement (true as it is) it was a gentle whisper to my soul... "it's Ok, you are different but I made you that way". It used to be my biggest fear that I was different, weird or that I would not fit in but now God has turned that fear into thanks. I am thankful That my Father made me different, that I can see things the way I do and that the gifts and talents He has given me are mine alone. I also find such joy in exploring those things in others, it's a true blessing to uncover or benefit from God's grace in and through His work in other people. Instead of asking myself, I am going to take this chances, as negative, if you can just change your perspective those "chances" can be unexpected presents for you on your journey.

Created for more...

Eph. 2:10 reads:
"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, for which God prepared in advance for us to do".

This verse says that we, each child, God Breathed, and alive, are created to do great things. Have you ever looked around a room full of people wanting to stand up and just say your thoughts only to be almost glued to your seat in fear? What kept you in your seat? I find that way too often, I let that little but, all too often, very loud voice run over my God-given voice. Like writing, how long have I struggled with just doing what I love without the whole worth/deserving thing going on in my head? Please, I am the biggest wimp when it comes to being who I am. I am terrified that it won't be good enough, I won't be accepted or I might be "weird". Just so you know, I am weird. I say random things, speak when I should have kept my mouth shut and I say about everything that comes to mind. However, you know what that makes me? An individual. I am a one of a kind child of God that struggles to find and stay with Him all day in this non-God focused world.
Each of us is made for good works that he has prepared in advance for us.... that means that God has planted a vision in you and in me. He has set a vision for us as individuals, why do we spend out energy constantly searching for our purpose when it's all right here? God created us for His purpose a purpose that He chiseled out and set deep within each of us.
IF we lived as His children, truly seeking Him breath by breath, I am convinced that we would know and fulfill our good works much faster. God says, not only has he planned out our purpose in advance but His plans for us are for hope and a future not for harm.
We wonder why we have so many lost generations wandering about life feeling that we are made for more but convinced that we don't have what it takes to achieve it. There is a very real enemy out there and His agenda is to steal our purpose. We can be robbed blind in confusion, fear, unforgiveness, bitterness, disbelief, pride, hate, and the list can just run on and on...God's word is true my friends and we need to know it, live it and share it. So, next time that little voice creeps in, defy it and stand up for Jesus and be not ashamed of what Good deeds God has planned for you... it's not for them... it's all for God's glory!

thinking of you... and me

I step out and I over think it, I just know I am gonna sink.
In my heart God rings clear, "be still child, Do not fear"

with every breath my head is spinning, is this really a new beginning?
Can I change enough to make it? Or am I going to juggle and fake it.

So many people can do it and still be free, what's so different about me?
I can't remember the horror of why I left it's there inside but deeply kept.

Was it as bad as I first thought, or into all of the hype have I bought?
I am so confused and unsteady... I am terrified that I am not ready.

Then as I sit spiraling down in despair,
in the depths of my pit I found God there.
He said He knew of all I feared,
His everlasting love was now on my heart seared.

He said, "stay close my child, do not run ahead in haste".
This path is narrow and we have no time to waste".

"If you follow close then you will see,
you are never alone it's always you and Me".

"I Am. for the present, future and your past.
Your pain and suffering shall not last"

"Yes, I was there every single day,
you chose to spend living in a purple haze"

I have waited for you and provided all you would accept,
my love for you is forever kept.

You my child, have sewn some seed,
but now is the time to hear and to heed.

I am here forever never to move,
always for comfort, love and to soothe.

I am but a call in distance,
but you have to give up all resistance.

Take rest child and see... all I want is for you to be free.

All of those things that you thought before,
left you hurt, bound up and your mind in an uproar.

Those things you miss,
tied you tight... and soon you gave up the fight.

Now, before you is a narrow path indeed,
lined with the fruit of MY seed.

The path may be narrow but the choices are not few,
for I know the plans that I have for you.

You my child are a very special kind
made with the hands of the most high and divine.

For I chose you long before you were born,
and not for a life where you will just mourn.

I chose you, equipping, refining, leading, and teaching you to be a warrior.
You my child, I created for so much more.

It's time to rise up and take a step out,
take a stand and test my strength out.

I am here and as long as you remain,
your battles will not be fought in vain.

That's the difference between this time and before,
now you have chosen and open the door...

It's no longer just you in this fiery fight, it's you in me and there is no comparing to our might.

The war is won and the end is foretold, but we still must fight for The streets of Gold.

All God's creation shall one day bend a knee, and you my child will be there to see.