Today was full of everything from a celebration palm dance, the Lord's supper, traditional music,mixed with some very real life serious issues, wonderful worship, great rest and then BAM! the bottom fell out.
The oppression in the room was so evident that no one could deny it, we had to take time for prayer. As that time began, it was as if we were fighting on the front lines with the angels of God in the spiritual realm.
To back up just a little, the spiritual war being fought continuously in the heavens is not new information to me. I have known that there are very real evil demons just waiting to kill our very purpose, to rob us from life and slowly gnawing away at anything good, joyful or with promise. For a long time I lived thinking that evil reigned and was more powerful than God, I lived in a constant state of fear that controlled everything I did.
In my darkest despair a voice, an unmistakable voice, soothed my tortured soul. Jesus stepped in and asked me, "how long will you choose to suffer?" In that voice there was a sorrow, a comfort that said to me He was able to completely understand. He knew it all and still was calling to me, He wanted me and He didn't have to. In that moment, I knew that satan had lost his grip on my very being. I had been convinced that the life I lived was the life I deserved and maybe that is true but... I had found the fountain of life and wanted to explore all that it poured out. God had won my heart.
So, we know I was not startled today when the topic of the spiritual realm and the life and death fight that goes on every second of everyday 24/7 was spoken.
However, today was different. As I prayed, in my spirit something happened... I can't explain it, and well... I will sound like I have lost my mind but here it goes... for a moment, a flash, It was like I was there - I felt the intense hatres and soul focused fierceness of the enemy. Their only purpose is to destroy anything and everything that has even the smallest potential to be good... and when they fear they are losing their grip... that is what shook me to my core. it was worse than thinking that evil was more powerful, it was knowing someone hated me so much that they would watch me and when I am weakest, they attack, they look to hurt and break me, that's what they die for.
(Have you ever had a "disagreement" with someone and you just know they don't like you... it doesn't matter, if you run into them or think about it, you feel some kind of discomfort... times that by a trillion and maybe you can start to get just how much the enemy hates.)
I was completely overcome (still knowing I was in the power of Jesus Christ) I was just left with a disturbing understanding of how intense the battle it is. We know who wins BUT the battle is life and death everyday and honestly... I haven't lived that way, Do you?
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