just being OK

I have been burdened lately by my excessive need for more. A new house, a new car, new furniture, a beautifully landscaped yard (not by me) and a maid. These are just some of the things that cross my mind in my daydreams. These are just the thoughts that effect me, I could think about all of the opportunities available to my children things they could benefit from and struggle with over booking them too.

How do I get so discontent?

I believe that my discontentment comes from my perspective (or my focus). I think when I concentrate on the things I do not have it really effects the things that I am blessed with. Considering my past and the fact that I never dreamed of a future because I didn't think I would have one, makes it all the worse. I do stand with my last blog that this is a society of ADD and ADHD handicapped peoples. I don't think you have to be diagnosed with it to struggle with it. My understanding is that basically it's the inability to maintain focus or composure in a public or private environment. There is a difference in suffering with this very real condition and the manner in which I am using the terms (loosely to make an observation).

So, back to my struggle. I knowingly suffer with the effects of ADD when it comes to keeping my focus even when its not fun. What do I do about keeping my perspective? So far God has been very faithful to gently remind me of my many blessings, and the fact that I have done nothing to earn them He just loves me and wants me to be happy.

I don't know how to walk that fine line between my hopes and dreams and coveting something that I don't have. I do know that if I am starting my day in the Word of God, staying in touch with my Father throughout the day and making decisions based on His leading then... this wouldn't even be a blog, much less a struggle. So see, it is all in my perspective and what I choose to focus on. today I was just thinking and all of this was to say that today... I am OK with being just OK.