I have been struggling with the thought of forgiveness lately. There are so many depths to this that I find that I can become quite confused and completely consumed if I take my eyes of the focus.
My question was: can you forgive in the present if you do not know the full extent of the past?
I have some things in my past that have "haunted" me. Over time, to no avail, I have no concrete knowledge of the exact happenings but I do have the overwhelming emotions that linger. So thus, my question.
I have an answer and it covers ALL FORGIVENESS, no matter how catastrophic or how minute. The answer is found in: 1 Corinthians chapter 4 verses 2-5
2 Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful.
3 I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself.
4 My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. 5 Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men's hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God.
I may not have a clear vision of all I need to forgive but I most definitely have a concrete answer as to if I can or if I am supposed to... search these verses, there is more than one sole answer - there is a virtual "how to" in it also.
So, forgiveness does require much, in these words I find much for me to do in obedience and in faith to what God says is my responsibility is in the process of forgiveness and judgement..
April 25, 2007
required faith
well, I have been thinking a lot about forgiveness and how God has taught me about it so far. Lately I have come to see that there are different seasons to forgiveness. Maybe, different levels that we are ready or willing to forgive at one given time. Not that WE pick and choose but, our issues or situations that God brings to us.
Thankfully God is so full of love and grace He steadily stretches us and molds us instead of laying it on us all at once, although sometimes it might feel as though we are carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders.
Luckily, God has brought me along like a preschooler, very deliberate, repetitious and holding my hand in much of my required healing and forgiveness. He just knows each of his children so well and leads exactly the way we need.
The thought of required faith came from my own self-evaluation. We all go through seasons and that's OK but lately, I have just checked out. I saw it coming, knew I had a choice but still I went into a hibernation of sorts. I don't see it as all good or all bad because I have had some of both results. However, my point is this, before, during, now and forever will be: I knew that God was saying "be faithful to me." "Believe in me", "trust in me", "know that I will prevail in you" are the only things I could hear. He held my hand as I drew back: scared, full of questions, some doubt and unable to sort any of it out myself.
Now, as I began to come out of it a little, I see that he was asking me to be patient and my saving grace... required faith that no matter where I went, He would come for me.
I found that God really does pursue his beloved, relentlessly and gently.
Thankfully God is so full of love and grace He steadily stretches us and molds us instead of laying it on us all at once, although sometimes it might feel as though we are carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders.
Luckily, God has brought me along like a preschooler, very deliberate, repetitious and holding my hand in much of my required healing and forgiveness. He just knows each of his children so well and leads exactly the way we need.
The thought of required faith came from my own self-evaluation. We all go through seasons and that's OK but lately, I have just checked out. I saw it coming, knew I had a choice but still I went into a hibernation of sorts. I don't see it as all good or all bad because I have had some of both results. However, my point is this, before, during, now and forever will be: I knew that God was saying "be faithful to me." "Believe in me", "trust in me", "know that I will prevail in you" are the only things I could hear. He held my hand as I drew back: scared, full of questions, some doubt and unable to sort any of it out myself.
Now, as I began to come out of it a little, I see that he was asking me to be patient and my saving grace... required faith that no matter where I went, He would come for me.
I found that God really does pursue his beloved, relentlessly and gently.
January 13, 2007
Can You Blend It?
I hear that there is a show called "Can You Blend It?" It's all about things that can blend or not. So, at the beginning of the show the host comes out with something, for example, an ipod. Then he asks, "can you blend it?" and you decide if it will blend.
This conversation made me think about the things in my spiritual life and what can blend and what doesn't. Now, bear with me for a second while I STRETCH to reach my point. Using God as my blender, what in my life doesn't blend? What does blend and where is the line where blend-able becomes blender-breaking? What I mean is this... God is supposed to be our center and our guide, right? Using God as our blender what kind of things do we just throw in there without a thought to if it's blender-friendly or not? Ok, let's use the ipod, instead of literally blending it, what about what's on it? How does the music we put onto our Mp3s blend with our center and Guide, God? We go to Church which blends but what about Monday? Does our Monday blend in with our Sunday? What about friends, do our relationships blend in with our ultimate Blender? How many times have we thrown something into the blender that stops the blending - creating a total user error. There is nothing wrong with the blender itself...it's the one using it.
As I am exploring, I find that God is using all kinds of people, things and experiences to call me to Him, even a show about a blender. (PS, yes the ipod did blend)
This conversation made me think about the things in my spiritual life and what can blend and what doesn't. Now, bear with me for a second while I STRETCH to reach my point. Using God as my blender, what in my life doesn't blend? What does blend and where is the line where blend-able becomes blender-breaking? What I mean is this... God is supposed to be our center and our guide, right? Using God as our blender what kind of things do we just throw in there without a thought to if it's blender-friendly or not? Ok, let's use the ipod, instead of literally blending it, what about what's on it? How does the music we put onto our Mp3s blend with our center and Guide, God? We go to Church which blends but what about Monday? Does our Monday blend in with our Sunday? What about friends, do our relationships blend in with our ultimate Blender? How many times have we thrown something into the blender that stops the blending - creating a total user error. There is nothing wrong with the blender itself...it's the one using it.
As I am exploring, I find that God is using all kinds of people, things and experiences to call me to Him, even a show about a blender. (PS, yes the ipod did blend)
January 07, 2007
Business - truth or distraction
Do you find yourself so busy at times that you get to the end of the day and can't remember what all you did? Do you avoid quiet? Do you get up and go, go ,go then pass out when you get to bed? These are just some of the questions I heard today in a sermon about "keeping the Sabbath" or "making room for God". The whole thing was good but what really got me was when he addressed the other group of people who will find it hard to keep the Sabbath (the first - the workaholics). I fall into the second group I believe. We are the ones that go, go, go to avoid hearing the still small voice that aches from past issues still left unresolved. So now what? I choose to go into a period of self-examination and definition. I figure it will be a time to evaluate all that I am doing, why I am doing it and is it God led or something I am just taking on to avoid time alone with God?
Avoiding time alone with God? Saying that just saddens my soul because I know what all I have been through, how God brought me through it, how He protected me and then used it to strengthen me and yet...it still stands as truth. I am realizing that I have significant fundamental discrepancies in my belief system and that is something that gets my attention. I struggle with my God-given ministries because I am so incongruent on the inside, it's like a disease and I don't want to spread it. I used disease meaning, like a disease inconsistencies become acceptable like the beginning symptoms of a disease (easy to ignore). Then a time of knowing something is not quite right but still deadened by a bit of denial, then comes the on set of the illness - it infects every aspect and is no longer able to be overlooked. So there it is... the good, the bad and the pretty ugly but it just so happens to be a place I am not a description of who I am. Who I am is not affected or effected by my situation, my situation will be changed by who I am.
See you are really just a place for me to work things out, I do it much better this way than in my head. so as you read this, don't mistake my life for anything but just another child of God trying to live a little better. I am so thankful that I have a God that figured me out a long time ago and still adores me - even in my ignorance. So, I begin to evaluate....
Avoiding time alone with God? Saying that just saddens my soul because I know what all I have been through, how God brought me through it, how He protected me and then used it to strengthen me and yet...it still stands as truth. I am realizing that I have significant fundamental discrepancies in my belief system and that is something that gets my attention. I struggle with my God-given ministries because I am so incongruent on the inside, it's like a disease and I don't want to spread it. I used disease meaning, like a disease inconsistencies become acceptable like the beginning symptoms of a disease (easy to ignore). Then a time of knowing something is not quite right but still deadened by a bit of denial, then comes the on set of the illness - it infects every aspect and is no longer able to be overlooked. So there it is... the good, the bad and the pretty ugly but it just so happens to be a place I am not a description of who I am. Who I am is not affected or effected by my situation, my situation will be changed by who I am.
See you are really just a place for me to work things out, I do it much better this way than in my head. so as you read this, don't mistake my life for anything but just another child of God trying to live a little better. I am so thankful that I have a God that figured me out a long time ago and still adores me - even in my ignorance. So, I begin to evaluate....
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