Business - truth or distraction

Do you find yourself so busy at times that you get to the end of the day and can't remember what all you did? Do you avoid quiet? Do you get up and go, go ,go then pass out when you get to bed? These are just some of the questions I heard today in a sermon about "keeping the Sabbath" or "making room for God". The whole thing was good but what really got me was when he addressed the other group of people who will find it hard to keep the Sabbath (the first - the workaholics). I fall into the second group I believe. We are the ones that go, go, go to avoid hearing the still small voice that aches from past issues still left unresolved. So now what? I choose to go into a period of self-examination and definition. I figure it will be a time to evaluate all that I am doing, why I am doing it and is it God led or something I am just taking on to avoid time alone with God?

Avoiding time alone with God? Saying that just saddens my soul because I know what all I have been through, how God brought me through it, how He protected me and then used it to strengthen me and yet...it still stands as truth. I am realizing that I have significant fundamental discrepancies in my belief system and that is something that gets my attention. I struggle with my God-given ministries because I am so incongruent on the inside, it's like a disease and I don't want to spread it. I used disease meaning, like a disease inconsistencies become acceptable like the beginning symptoms of a disease (easy to ignore). Then a time of knowing something is not quite right but still deadened by a bit of denial, then comes the on set of the illness - it infects every aspect and is no longer able to be overlooked. So there it is... the good, the bad and the pretty ugly but it just so happens to be a place I am not a description of who I am. Who I am is not affected or effected by my situation, my situation will be changed by who I am.

See you are really just a place for me to work things out, I do it much better this way than in my head. so as you read this, don't mistake my life for anything but just another child of God trying to live a little better. I am so thankful that I have a God that figured me out a long time ago and still adores me - even in my ignorance. So, I begin to evaluate....