Stained Glass

Father God, as I arise
I pray that you would open my eyes.
As I take a step this day,
be my lamp and show me the way.

I long to know more about you
and all the ways your hands soothe
I want to know your strength and love
so I can mirror what comes from above

I want to know how to praise
to humbly honor you with hands raised.
To sacrifice to you my will
and empty my heart ready for you to fill.

I want my life here and now
to live in you boldly and out loud.
I want to show all those around
the joy in you that I have found

Father Abba, teach me to love
the kind that flows only from above.
may my life be a lesson not only for me
but shared freely around for all to see.

that anything I do is not me at all
for I am that man sinned at the fall.
Let all know that look in and see
it's only by you living here in me,
that I can have the will to love at all
it comes directly form the grace given to us at the fall.

See, I know that I am set apart and given a purpose in life
and it's not to suffer in pain and to face constant daily strife.
It's to grow in Jesus, live outloud, love abundantly and not to waste this life.

So see, I know where I belong... here living out my life's song.

Until one day, it's time to go
To see everything I ever wanted to know
home I will be forever taken up
the thought of it overflows my cup.

So if you don't know this Jesus that changes it all
get on your kness and give him a call.
He is mighty and quick to save
just tell him that you have decided in Him to bathe
let go of the past and let Him lead
straight to your heart where He planted a seed.

Walk in your days with Him by yourside
forever in you will He now abide.
remember that you are only created man
but now in your life you can take a stand

Be sure to step out in faith and share
your heart and soul to others lay bare
Then, just maybe we will all know
just where our life's song will show...

In the smile of a stranger, a good deed done
are things that shine through us the life of the son.
It's exciting to see how a life grows
just in the words of these few rows

My hope in this is to encourage my sisters and brothers to live
learn to overflow from Him in love, hope and to selflessly give
Then, I think we all will see just who it is that holds the key
our eyes will be open opened and we will finally see.... what it is that we were created to be.

Stained glass am I

Have you ever thought about stained glass? Do you appreciate the beauty when you see it or have you grown cold to it's wonder? In talking with my husband tonight, He brought up how many different facets there are in a stained glass window. It made me think about myself as a beautiful window... and I wondered... am I lit?
Well, I don't know much but I assume that stained glass is very hard to make. You have to peice it together to make it into what you want it to be. You have to have just the right pieces of glass and colors to complete your work. Then you have to fit it all together and seal it to make sure it is strong enought to withstand the life of a window.
Stained glass is beautiful but, it has to have light behind it to see and apprecitate it and at night time no one can see it bacause no one knows it is there, it appears as just another window... what a shame, to have somethiing so beautiful and useful but no one ever gets to see it.
Stained glass is a bit like people, we are useless without the light of the Son in us to shine out the beauty within. Before we have the light to shine, only God appreciates us because He is he only one that knows the beauty is there. We can be beautiful masterpieces, creeated and designed uniquely by God, or we can be "just another an unlit window"....

What do you want to be? A beautiful stained glass masterpiece or an unlit window?

“I don’t know” is where I am…

Today it just struck me that I am fearful of so much more than I should be. As a child of God, my only fear is to be that of God and nothing else because the things of this world are not my concern.… What brought this thought on is, the ride to the hospital this morning to see my ill grandmother. She has been ill for the past 4 days and I knew that but I didn't go see her until she took a turn for the worst (FYI: no, she did not die, she is better now). As I drove and prayed I was at a loss as to how to pray for her. I actually thought that maybe it would be better if God just went ahead and took her to heaven... then I realized, who would that be better for?
I can name 5 legitimate reasons why couldn't go see her this week but, the truth is much more clear. I am fearful of illness and death. I think that for many reasons I associate all manners of departing, whether it be by death, moving, divorce or whatever, I see it as abandonment and that is my biggest hurt ever. So I am very guarded around my relationships that illness enters into. I used to think it was just my poor time-management but I know now, that it is rooted in fear and causing a stumbling block in my ability to support and serve those that are ill, in the love of Christ.
Fear has even has corrupted a most special relationship of mine with a friend because she got ill. I pulled away probably when she could have used my help and support the most, so I prayed... God, what is it in me that clings to this fear? Am I scared that if one more person passes or moves that I will be broken into tiny pieces? How do I doubt you and your ability to take care of me after everythingyou have brought me out from. How can I have one little bit, much less a mountain, of fear? And why would I rather hold on to that fear instead of bringing it to you and living free?
There are so many things that I just don’t have the answer to and coming to the realization of that is half the battle. Now it’s consciously seeking God and changing my actions in these situations that will help me handle what I can and to be still when I can’t. So, “I don’t know isn’t a horrible place… it’s a starting place.

Waking up thankful...

Today as I woke I didn't think about Jesus or Beauty. I was focused in on how much I did not want to get out of bed and how much longer I could stay in bed without effecting others in my family, then... I had a thought rush over me and I was smiling. I often think of the many reason that I do not deserve to be blessed or receive God's grace but today I just felt loved and cared for. Today is not a special day, nothing out of the ordinary happening but... I am prepared for this day because I believe my heavenly Father hugged me. I am jus so thankful for a Father that loves me and knows everything about me and stills longs to hug me through my day.

Dear Father God, Thank you so much for your unquenched desire to be close to me. I pray that as I focus my eyes on you today that my life will mirror what I believe in my heart. Today may my steps be bold, my thoughts be clear and you be my first priority in every step I take, word I speak and decision I make. Father, I do want to walk beside you in your work I want to know you more, lead me and teach me what all that takes from me. May today be a day that I truly seek you and your will.
As a wife Father, I ask that you just place gentle reminders in my path of the wonderful blessing that I have in my husband. May I desire to serve him in the ways that you want me to Lord and may I bow my will to him and learn true Godly submission. I praise you Lord for the loving, patient, whole-ly completing Father that you are.
I pray that as parents, we would be focused on you, strong in each other and able to lead our children in your ways. Thank you for the precious blessing of each of their individual gifts and characters, teach us and provide clarity in our discipline of them. I desire for them to be and fulfill your plans for them and to be the best children of God that you created them to be. Help us to accomplish your will in them and not ours.
Father God, you are wonderful, majestic and unparalleled in might, you are love, hope, acceptance and freedom help you children to grasp hold of the life you have chosen for us and live in the victory of our salvation.
I love you and praise you in the most high name of Jesus Christ, I do pray to you Amen

Being content...

You know, I just get so confused about cherishing what I have verses what I want. God has undoubtedly blessed me beyond what I am deserving of (that's a given). However, can you fully appreciate and be content with what you have if you still want something more? This argument could go for just about anything but for me, at this time, it's about a house. I remember when we first moved into this home, we would just lay in bed talking about how cool and unbelievable it was that we actually owned this house. I still feel that way to an extent but I want more room and I think we could do it but... We don't NEED it. So, what is that? Well, in studying Timothy chapter 6 I find that there is still a fine line but, it is pretty clear. Be obedient to God's call, He will provide all things for my enjoyment and He will be faithful to me (a very BAD paraphrase). Anyway what I got was this... I need to think less on more and more on God, He will provide all things and the calling to them. So I wait or learn to wait for his coming call.

Why a blog...

I love to talk so writing should come naturally right?... So I chose a blog to come out in. I want to try my hand and stretch a little by putting my thoughts out there for whoever wants to see and let (what I hope is) nature take place.
A little about me... well, first this isn't a sex, drug or fetish thing so if that is what cranks your boat skip this and move on.
I focus most of my writing on prayers and encouragement OR maybe something that has struck me as profound.
So, me... I am in my late thirties, married to a wonderful husband for almost 16 years and we have three children together. I have spent the last 15 years pouring into my kids and now little by little I am going to pour back into my self. Writing just makes me feel good so now, I am going to take time to do it.

Just visiting a few web sites today made me think: why do we (I) let fear into our possible success? Why don't more of us just put ourselves out there and see what happens? For me, it's because I am so scared that God might bless me more and I will lose my focus and perspective... I guess at times I feel like I am barley holding on to what I have and if anything shakes me up then I will lose it all. Isn't that crazy? I can see it but, that doesn't change my feelings or fear. Just something in my head crying out for prayer...

If in reading this you would like me to pray for you, you need to know that I pray to my Father God in Heaven in the name of Jesus Christ because Jesus died for me (and you too). If you do not agree with me that is OK, just don't bother posting a nasty message because I am firmly founded in my faith. You can be too, I don't want to offend anyone. I'm just here to see what happens.
Anyway, I would love to pray for you I will do so mostly at night but will make a commitment to do so if asked.
That makes day 1, have a blessed night!