again, I struggle. I struggle to maintain my freedom of thought when I am faced with major adversity, life changes or the possibility of being left behind. Really it's the latter, I can feel myself pull away when I am needed most in my relationships. I can't stand the feeling that comes when someone is moving away, ill or in any way "abandoning" me.
That is a huge word for me, abandonment, but God is teaching me so much about it. I am learning that sometimes... it's just not all about me and what I need. I am learning to reach out when I want to run and to have hope when I don't. I am learning to love when I can and for how long I can and what may come... so be it, I will no longer let satan scheme me out of deeper relationships because of fear. I know now what pits await me as I continue on the journey (instead of running away) and now I can find my freedom as long as I remember who is the victor and who is already defeated!
Thank you God for (again) reminding me who You are and who I am not and how to love without limits or fear. I praise You and worship You for You alone are worthy. You are my all in All. AMEN